One breath... you know...?

I feel that the world is mine sometimes, or that I’m the entire world… you know? …not in a way like: “I’m the only thing that’s important around here”, no, it’s more like feeling that everything there is, is what’s inside… you know? … inside me and everyone, so if you feel good, it’s all good, and if you feel bad, there’s nothing and it’s all black and gloomy… you know? …like, when you watch a sunset… or the night sky, with a waxing crescent, and it can mean nothing to you, or it can be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on, but you have to want to see that, to need to see that… you know? …to need to feel, and you’ll create magnificence on your own, from the simplest things… and then you feel good …you know? …and full, and you feel connected, you feel in touch with everything, or, maybe, you don’t … you know? …and you have to be like that, I mean to feel good, and complete, even if conditions are not always at your favor, and I really want to be like that, cause I think it changes things, well, at least it changes the way you see thing, but then again, if you make someone smile just because you smile, that’s important, that’s something… you know? …cause when you’re good, when you smile when you see yourself in the mirror in the morning, that big half-asleep mess, then you radiate, you’re like… light… you know? …like the morning sun… nobody usually notices it, but when the dawn slowly comes, everyone feels better, and then again, during the day, it gives life, it’s what makes everything move… but, tell me, come on, I dare you… did you ever stop, in the middle of the street, right there and then, to look at the sun right at the eyes, cause if you did, then I’m happy for you, no, actually, I’m more than happy, I’m… that thing when you exhale slowly and you have a tiny grin of satisfaction on your face and everything seems right… you know? …and if you’ve never done that, then it’s fine too, cause … you know… it’s your loss… the sun doesn’t care… it won’t gain anything whether you look at it or not, so it’s all fine, and that’s the way I want to be, too… you know? … to shine… to radiate… but you have to do that on you own… you know?... it doesn’t matter how many other stars are out there, your light is your own, and it has to come from within, if somebody else is giving it to you, or if somebody else triggers it, then… it’s useless… you know?... and that’s not always easy, especially in cases when days pass you by and your phone doesn’t ring, or when all of your friends are out of town, or you are out of town, or in a word: when you have no one to shine for… you know? …then you may rely on other tiny things to keep you optimism up, like a nice movie, a little music, a cup of tea, a hot shower, that hand cream that smells like caramel and always cheers you up… just to stay alert… you know? …until things find their way once again, cause they always do, and it always feels great when that happens, but all these things, the tiny ones I mean, even if they work fine, they are merely substitutes, and you can’t use them for long, or you’ll start to fade, and lose your glory piece by piece, and that’s scary to say the least, but you can’t do anything about it, sometimes it just happens… you know?... not that I’m complaining or anything, no, certainly I feel that some things are missing right now, but if you get disappointed you only make things worse… you know? …and then the situation seems permanent, but it really isn’t, and that scares the crap out of you …so no, I’m hanging on the smiling thing… not a big smile though… cause I think I’ll keep that one for a more appropriate occasion… but I’ll keep all those things in mind as well, cause, you know... things may be great… yet… well… sometimes… it’s a little… lonely... You know…?